New Year Blues!

As the new year approaches some of us are easily becoming engulfed in the “New Year, New Me” mantra. We're trying everything we can to kick start our "best New Year yet" with the notion of how we start is how we'll end. Year after year, we start off with a list of goals and plans just hoping things will be different from the years before. Often, we see "new" behaviors such as being dedicated to the gym, eating better and healthier, and last but not least, saving money/budgeting! Sounds a bit repetitive over the years, right? We give in to the pressure of using the start of the year as a mile marker for new goals while setting ourselves up break promises due to no actual strategy on how to achieve these goals. Oftentimes, there is also no consideration or reflection on why past goals were not achieved (for example, lack of completion could be linked to things such as the unhealed traumas and generational issues that have a greater impact on changing our cultural norms and habits).

As coaches, we can often quickly identify and link behaviors and habits to your daily systems and structures by reviewing any experiences that may have impacted you during your personal development stages. Many are surprised to learn your upbringing shows up in the way you handle day to day tasks which not only affects your personal relationships but professional relationships and the way you do or don't handle business. Not dealing with these points of reference will have a huge impact on your home life, business, and relationships. Keep reading for some tried and true tips on making sure we meet and even exceed our goals moving forward.

Let’s kick start the year by adding these 5 steps to our vision boards, journals, and New Year plans:

1. Learn your Traumas- The clinical definition of trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. To put it in layman's terms, trauma is the lasting emotional response that often results from living through a distressing event. We learn more about our trauma by observing how we respond to stressful events that arrive in our lives. Knowing the traumatic events that have happened in your life will help to identify how you respond to things that trigger the memories of said events. For example, if you were born in a household where you were punished if something was not perfect, you will have a tendency to not complete tasks until they were validated and deemed perfect by someone you see as an authoritative figure in your life. Or, you will do the counter and release incomplete work as a defense to help you feel in control. These examples are trauma responses. Identifying the trauma helps us to better respond in the future.

2. Seek Therapy- More often than not trauma is not an easy space to get through. A great therapist or counselor can help you hone in on those difficult discussions and help you navigate to continue to heal.

3. Be Accountable- Set the goals but more importantly, “be true to thine own self”. Whether you are a lover of the Holy Bible or a lover of Shakespeare these words should hold true. Constantly setting goals and never holding yourself accountable for breaking them will ultimately create a pattern in your lifecycle. A way to always be accountable is to start with small goals that lead to larger accomplishments. For example, if you want to lose weight by working out, start at home and set a goal to work your way to the gym. The goal is to develop a habit which according to www.capespace.com we should use the 21/90 rule. The 21/90 rule says that in 21 days something will become a habit and if you continue on for 90 more days it will become a permanent lifestyle change.

4. Set Realistic Goals- Sometimes the pressure of a new year starting and trying to keep up with trends means that we set unrealistic goals rather than small milestone goals that will ultimately develop into larger accomplishments. During my time as a Director for a local nonprofit a proven method that worked with my team was having them use the S.M.A.R.T. goal method:

   1. S-Specific- Be specific about what you want to achieve. Instead of saying “I will be more consistent in my business”, try “I will be more consistent in my business growth by planning and scheduling social media posts, investing in a business mentor by the second quarter of the year, implementing automation, hiring an accountant, updating my business plan, and seeking out funding geared toward my areas of expertise”.

   2. M-Measurable- How can you measure your progress? For example, “I will save $1,000 for my car emergency fund and will track my expenses and savings in an Excel spreadsheet”.

   3. A-Actionable- Use words that require you to be accountable to an action. For instance, “My gym schedule is every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 6AM-7:30 AM”.

   4. R-Realistic- Can you actually achieve the goal? An example of an unrealistic goal would be to lose 100 pounds in 7 days. A more realistic goal would be to lose 100 pounds in 1 year or maybe 10 pounds in 1 month.

   5. T-Time- Give enough time to complete the set goals. Instead of saying “I will gain more followers on social media by the end of the month”, let’s say, “I will gain 17 new followers on social media in 30 days”.

5. Give yourself Grace- Life is always going to happen and we cannot control each aspect of our day to day. Giving ourselves grace in times we feel we can’t perform at our best is one of the many ways we become complacent and thrown off course. For this new year, add the grace component to your plans and allow the goal post to move as necessary. Punishing yourself because life is happening is not fair. Allowing grace to come in will bring about accountability and will also help you pick up where you left off.

For more information about setting healthy goals, check out www.surburbansimplicity.com

So, you see, sending off ‘22 to pick up ‘23 will take some work and effort but you don’t have to be gloomy about it. Get excited and set those goals because 2023 has great things in store!

For more information on coaching and great tools to help scale and grow your business be sure to check us out Total Business Advancement. We are here to help you succeed. See you at the top!